Universal: Chapter 15
I was incredibly sad that Eric and I broke up before we’d really even gotten started. I was so crazy about him and I was really happy in the brief time we’d spent together in Las Vegas. I missed him so much when we got back to L.A., but then after that awful conversation we had about—of all things-the blowjob I’d given him at Universal, well, it just became out of the question that we could be together.
He even used the phrase “deal breaker,” so I wasn’t the only one who thought the situation was impossible.
I have to admit, I was baffled by the whole thing. I guess I was as naïve as people had always accused me of being. I never in a million years thought a guy would break up with me because I’d confessed to enjoying sucking his penis. I really had a lot to learn, but frankly, I had no interest in learning any of it. I couldn’t imagine ever being interested in dating ever again after what had happened with Eric.
I tried not to wallow in self pity, but I did cry quite a bit over losing Eric, but only when alone. I just thought what horrible luck I’d had, falling for a guy who didn’t want me to give him blowjobs. I’d only given the one, and I thought it was pretty great. I wondered if I’d behaved myself that day behind the Terminator ride, maybe he and I would still be together.
Of course, I couldn’t tell anyone why I was so sad. I tried not to show it, especially at work, but people noticed that something was wrong. I wished I did have someone I could talk to about it, but it was just such an odd and intimate problem, I couldn’t imagine anyone I could confide in about such a thing.
And then, I thought of Pam. If there was anyone on the planet who wouldn’t judge me, it was Pam. I hadn’t spent much time with her lately because we were both so busy working. We never seemed to have the same nights off and couldn’t ever get together.
Finally, one day, she suggested we just have lunch and forget painting the town at night. I thought that was a great idea.
We met at Du-par’s at the Farmer’s Market one afternoon, and it was so great to see her.
She had lots of news about the singers and dancers I knew from Knott’s and I loved hearing about all of them. I missed them terribly. Fortunately, she didn’t mention Eric, and I certainly didn’t bring him up. I didn’t want her to know anything that had happened—or at least I didn’t want her to know it had happened with Eric.
When she asked if I was dating anybody, I must have looked sad because she squeezed my hand across the table and asked, “What is it, Sookie? Is it Sam?”
“No. No, Sam and I didn’t work out. I actually broke it off after only a few dates.”
“Oh, that’s too bad. He seemed like a good one. Did you get to boink him?”
“No. And yes, he was a good one. But I met someone else.”
“Really?” Her eyes lit up. “Tell me.”
“Well, before you get all excited, I should tell you, it didn’t last very long either.”
She frowned. “What happened?”
“Well, … I’m not sure how to really explain it. It’s kind of … um … personal.”
“Oh come on, just spit out. I can take it.”
“Yeah, I know you can. That’s why I wanted to talk to you about it. I don’t have anyone else I can tell, really, and I think I need to talk about it.”
“Sookie, what is it?” She seemed genuinely concerned.
“Well, I met this guy and I really liked him.”
“Yeah, go on.”
“There’s no really nice way to say this, so I’ll just say it.” I looked around and lowered my voice. “I went down on him.”
“Alright, Sookie,” she said with a grin.
I started to laugh at her enthusiasm. “Well, before you go patting me on the back for my brazen impulses, I should tell you he didn’t like it.”
“What do you mean? That’s not possible. Wait … did you bite it or something?”
“No, no, of course not. Even I know not to do that.”
We both started giggling, and suddenly, I felt so much better about it all.
“No. He acted like he liked it at the time …,” I continued.
“But then afterwards, he got all weird about it. It seemed to bother him that I liked it so much. He thought I was trashy. And, well, I was … but ….” I lowered my voice again. “Don’t guys like that?”
“Well, I always thought so. But maybe he was really super religious or something.”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Had a mommy complex?”
“Was just a dweeb?”
I laughed again, thinking of anyone calling Eric a dweeb. He was so not a dweeb. “No, he’s not a dweeb.”
“Listen, Sookie. As far as I’m concerned, everything is acceptable that happens between two consenting adults in bed.”
How about behind amusement park rides, I thought, but kept that remark to myself.
“But obviously, some people have hang ups about sex,” she went on. “This guy apparently has some kind of extremely rare problem with getting head. Did he seem to like sex in general?”
“I don’t know. That’s all we did, and it was just that one time.”
“Good lord, he is a dweeb. Honestly, you’re better off without him, Sookie. Trust me, there are a million guys out there who would worship you for bestowing such an honor on them.”
“Thanks, Pam. I do feel better.”
“I’m glad. I’m just sorry some ass-hat made you feel this way. Shame on him. I’m going to put my thinking cap on and come up with some super hot and normal guy for you to go out with. And then you’ll forget all about dweeb-boy. You’ll see.”
After that afternoon, I did feel a little better about the whole Eric thing. It didn’t feel like such a dark secret anymore.
I still wasn’t ready to date anyone, but at least I felt a little better about what had happened and a little less like a freak. I was lucky to have Pam as a friend. And I was lucky to have the other Knott’s singers and dancers. And the waitresses at Merlotte’s. And, of course, Sam.
Sure, I didn’t have a boyfriend, but I had a good life and I finally felt like I could move past the whole awful fiasco with Eric Northman. Finally, I felt like I might be able to get over him.