Taking Action: Chapter 32
Charlaine Harris owns Eric and Sookie, but we sure do love them.
I just wanted you to know that Sookie didn’t leave me. I know that you expected her to after that royal fuck up where she apparently overheard my phone conversation with Pam. I really was so pissed at myself for that. I didn’t think that Sookie was listening obviously, but had I realized that she could hear me I think I could have saved it if I had only had the time to explain things to her. I’m starting to see that a lot of what goes wrong with us is just simple misunderstanding. And maybe a little bad timing. Yes, I would love it if she were a vampire, but I know and respect her wishes. I won’t lie to her about what I want, but she needs to learn to trust me. And we need to talk about the what-ifs of her dying by some god-awful catastrophe. Would she really not want to be turned under those circumstances? Is she one hundred percent certain? I need to know. What I really need is for her to stick around long enough for us to seriously talk about all this shit without running away at the first little speed bump. Goddamn Bill Compton. He put that flight response in her. I could really stake that motherfucker.
You can’t imagine the panic I felt when I realized that she had heard me. I could feel that I was mere seconds away from my daytime death and wouldn’t have time to explain shit to her. I could see and obviously feel her panic and do absolutely nothing. Sometimes being a vampire sucks. Sometimes losing my days feels like I’m being cheated. I know it’s a trade-off, but once in a century or two there comes a time when I could really use a little coherence during the day to resolve things. That day was one of those. It killed me to have to tell her to close the door. All I wanted was for her to climb in bed with me with the door safely shut so that my last conscious thought was that at least I stood a chance of seeing her when I woke. Looking at her tearful face as she stepped back and closed the door absolutely killed me. I just thought I am so fucked. She is going to be half way back to Bon Temps by the time dusk rolls around. I wanted to put my fist through a wall, but was as weak as a newborn kitten and could do nothing but pass out. You just can’t imagine the frustration. Sometimes it really does suck. (By the way, you know not to tell anybody else about that weak as a kitten shit right? I mean seriously, I have killed people for knowing less.)
Anyway, when I woke, the first thing I felt was the familiar hum of Sookie sleeping. I flew into her room and was so relieved to see her in the bed, but then I saw the suitcase and knew that she was planning on leaving. I wasn’t sure why she hadn’t really. Had she actually made the mature decision to stay and talk to me or had she merely fallen asleep and missed her opportunity to make a clean getaway? Who cares, I know. The most important thing was that she was still there. I turned on a light and then stood at the foot of the bed to watch her sleeping. What I wouldn’t give to keep her in that peaceful state, but awake of course. I was expecting her to wake up and start crying or yelling at me. I felt another break-up coming on and just dreaded it. All I wanted was for her to stay here with me and enjoy the rest of our little trip, and then take the next step together. Maybe a trip to Asheville. Maybe a trip home. Why can’t it ever be that simple with us?
I decided in that second that I was going to buy this house no matter what the cost. I would put it in Sookie’s name (but have the annual property tax bill sent to my accountant). I’ll set up a maintenance account and hire a property manager. She could rent it out whenever she wanted and it would most likely provide her with enough of an income that she could quit working at that piece of shit bar. She could come here whenever she wanted with or without me. If she does break up with me when she wakes up, at least I’ll know that when she comes here, she’ll think of me and I’ll still have the hope of a future with her. How could she stay here and not remember what we were to each other? What we are to each other. Until she wakes up and starts the yelling. Goddamit. I just know what’s coming.
You know what I decided then? I’ll just beg if I have to. It doesn’t matter. My pride won’t mean shit to me if she’s gone. I’ll just beg her not to leave me. Straightforward honesty. We could use a little of that after all the bullshit and dancing around we’ve done since I got my memory back. I feel like I’ve been walking on eggshells and it’s time to just step on them and to hell with the consequences. I love her. I want her. I’m going to beg. Fuck it.
Her eyes opened and I just said it. “Please don’t leave me.” I braced myself for the tears, for the blame, for the pain. But instead she just said in a very sleepy voice, “I had a bad dream.” Now there was a rare opportunity if I’ve ever seen one. I flew to the bed and had her in my arms before she could finish her next breath. Here was a chance for me to comfort her again. (I was learning that these bad dreams are really quite common with her. Maybe when she’s more secure in our relationship, they will subside.) She started to tell me the dream, but then said that it sounded stupid. I told her that it didn’t sound stupid at all and I promised that I wouldn’t really run away from her. She said she wouldn’t run away either. I couldn’t believe it. Could it have really been that easy? Just like that, she was staying? Packed bag and all? I was overwhelmed with love for her and was so grateful that she was staying. I kissed her and held her and hoped she could feel how precious she was to me. I just love her so much. Hell, I’ll suffer an eternity without her if she’ll just promise this short lifetime to me. I’ll take it. Just please gods don’t let her leave me now.
We stayed there in that bed, wrapped in each other’s arms for a long time. I couldn’t believe my luck. She was still there. She wasn’t leaving. She wasn’t mad. I really think she does love me, and for the first time I thought we really might have a chance at something real together. Wish me luck. I’ll let you know how it goes.
A/N: Please continue this series with my next story, Eric’s Story. See my profile for the sequence after that. I hope you enjoy!