Sookie Stackhouse’s Facebook Feed: Chapter 8
Alcide Herveaux wrote on Annabelle Bannister’s wall: OMG, last night I almost mounted a real wolf! From the back, she looked just like you!
Sweetie, this is public. Use that private message thingy like I showed you.
Alcide Herveaux has abjured Sandra Pelt.
Sookie Stackhouse became a fan of Blue Moon Productions.
Sookie Stackhouse wrote on Sean Huffernoggin’s wall: I’d love to see you and Layla. Are you performing anywhere regularly?
Not really. Layla hasn’t been able to dance as much lately.
Is she okay?
Her bunion surgeries won’t stick now that she’s turned. They just grow right back.
Call me. I may be able to help.
Sookie Stackhouse is no longer friends with Charles Twining.
Charles Twining wrote on Eric Northman’s wall: I don’t know why Sookie’s all bent out of shape. She got a new kitchen, didn’t she?
You are banned from Area 5, Twining. Show your face, and I’ll make you a tea bag.
Amelia Broadway Where’s the picture? What is your picture? What color is your sky? Is it bright and sunny or dark and gloomy? Do you even know?
Blah, blah, blah. I can’t take it anymore.
Pam Ravenscroft is no longer friends with Amelia Broadway.
Amelia Broadway sent Pam Ravenscroft a Virtual Gift: a pair of Jimmy Choos.
Amelia Broadway sent Pam Ravenscroft a Virtual Gift: a bag from Gucci.
Amelia Broadway sent Pam Ravenscroft a Virtual Gift: a bag of O positive.
Pam Ravenscroft is now friends with Amelia Broadway.
Eric Northman wrote on Sookie Stackhouse’s wall: Lover, can you stop by the bar tonight to read one of my suppliers?
Sorry, baby. I’m working tonight.
*sad panda* (Maybe I’ll just glamor him.)
Burn in Hell.
Denise Rattray took the quiz What are you? with the result: white trash.
Remy Savoy is now friends with Claude Crane.
Sigebert Smith took the quiz What are you? with the result: an illiterate stump.
Sigebert Smith wrote on Pam Ravenscroft’s wall: Ggilfsarttsrtpt.
Wybert Smith took the quiz What are you? with the result: an illiterate stump.
Sookie Stackhouse wrote on Pam Ravenscroft’s wall: Hey, at least Sigebert and Wybert are making an effort.
Shouldn’t they be on a leash or something? Jesus.
I think they like you.
Portia Bellefleur Vick shifted into a kangaroo and pooped on the outback playing Virtual Wereworld.
A/N: Thank you for suggestions from MAMZAR and Cutiekins. If you all want some additional free laughs, read the reviews for this. I’m still laughing at hearttorn’s in which she confessed to abjuring a were-squirrel (but she suspects it may have just been a regular squirrel). And thank you to my friend, Serena, who wrote Amelia’s little piece regarding the color of your sky. I just cut and pasted it from my own Facebook page. I kid you not. Eric’s sad panda is for Sweet Sookie. WTF is what the fuck, btw.