Hair and Makeup: Chapter 26
Sookie was crying—sobbing, really—into my neck. It just felt so good to have her in my arms. I closed my eyes and held her, trying to calm her. I hoped she was crying because she was happy and not because she was upset, but wondered if I could tell the difference. When I asked her, I got the word “happy” and felt a wave of relief. Once she’d calmed down a little, I wiped her tears away and she whispered a shaky, “I love you so much.” I hadn’t even realized how much I’d needed to hear those words and fought back tears myself when I nodded that I understood. She wasn’t the cold, pragmatic woman who had sent me away; she was the same Sookie that I’d grown to need and depend on and I felt overwhelmingly grateful to find her again.
I’d never have to settle for empty affairs with the Selah’s of the world again because Sookie loved me. She was mine and I was hers. I was all hers.
Sookie mumbled into my neck, “I have to go to the bathroom.”
“Okay.” She didn’t move, but we kept our little rocking motion going, soothing each other.
After a few more minutes of silence, “I really have to go.”
She climbed out of my grasp and I kissed her forehead before she went into the bathroom and closed the door. I took a deep breath and sat back on the sofa after reaching for the remainder of my forgotten smoothie.
I felt like the weight of the world had been taken from me. I went into Sookie’s bedroom and started to undress. By the time she emerged from the bathroom, I was naked under the sheet. I reached out to her with both arms as she came into the room. She crawled up onto the bed and melted into my body as I pulled the sheet back for her. I grabbed her, hungrily kissing her mouth, smiling into the kiss when I tasted the toothpaste. Such a practical girl.
I rolled Sookie onto her back, deepening the kiss before I pulled back. “I know we have a lot we need to talk about, sweetie, but right now I really need you to make love to me. Is that okay?”
Her eyes were dark with emotion. “Me too.”
I pulled her tank top over her head and roughly sucked a nipple into my mouth. Her hands gripped my head as a leg wrapped around my hip, pulling me closer. My hands pushed her pants down until I couldn’t reach any more. Then I reluctantly disengaged and pulled her pants and panties off, tossing them towards the foot of the bed. Sookie opened her legs shamelessly and just whispered, “Please,” before I grabbed her hips and thrust my tongue into her. She was mine. I forced myself to focus and slow down, wanting to please her. She was ravenous and wild though and it didn’t take her long at all.
As she was coming down from her high, I crawled up her body, grabbed my cock and rubbed her with my head, my eyes pleading for permission to enter her. “Wait.” She seemed to snap out of her haze of lust and reached over to open her nightstand drawer. She pulled out a condom wrapper; I looked at her questioningly. She seemed guilty when she spoke. “We were apart.”
“You slept with somebody else?” I couldn’t believe it, but then I remembered how close I came to sleeping with Selah.
“No, you did.”
“No, honey, I didn’t.”
I caught her eye and spoke slowly. “I didn’t. Sookie, I promise you, I didn’t.” There was no reason for her to trust me. Bill had lied to her. She had no other frame of reference. She looked unsure, but I took the condom from her hand and placed it back into the drawer before looking back into her eyes. “I’m yours.”
She nodded and reached down to guide me to her. We kept our eyes locked as I entered her with a strong push. Her eyes closed as she groaned and my tongue found her neck. I fought the urge to mark her, to bite. She was mine, and I fucked her for all I was worth, claiming her with each thrust, with each selfish grunt. I held her head with both hands as I filled her, sucking her tongue, moaning her name. As I sped up, I felt her hand between us, frantically rubbing, taking her to her peak. As she came, I stopped and watched her face, contorted sweetly with my name on her lips. As she came back to me, sleepy eyes staring into mine, I resumed my speed, getting close until I asked, “Please don’t leave me.” She nodded wordlessly and I closed my eyes and released, free from the fear that she would ever hurt me again. I gave her my heart and my trust and it all felt just so incredibly good.
I held her for a long time as we both came back down to earth. We finally settled underneath the sheet, facing each other, holding hands and touching feet. I would never get tired of looking at her. “So, tell me what happened. Why did you break up with me?”
She took a deep breath, resigned to the truth that we needed to talk about this. “I thought you were coming over to break up with me. It wasn’t until I found the box in the trash that I realized I was wrong.”
“But, why would you think that, sweetie? You knew how I felt about you.”
“Well, yeah, I thought I did, and I thought you wanted to leave me after the film. Eric, I’m not some movie star. I’m not the kind of woman you’re used to. I couldn’t imagine that you’d stick around after the film.”
“So, you were thinking we’d break up when the film was over and I was planning our future in my head, thinking I should keep it from you or I’d scare you away.”
“Oh yeah. I was envisioning our house, our kids, our life together.” I interlaced our fingers. “Our matching wedding bands.”
Her eyes were wide as she whispered, “Oh.”
“I’m an idiot. I take charge of everything and dominate people. It’s what I’m used to—getting what I want. I’m a spoiled movie star—a cliché, really. I was so worried about scaring you off if I told you what I wanted that it never occurred to me that you might not want me. That was a tough lesson for this old movie star, let me tell you. Have you thought about a future with me at all?”
“Not really. I didn’t allow myself to go there. I knew I was in love with you right away. I’ve had feelings for you since I met you, but once we started dating, I fell really fast. But thought I should keep it to myself.”
“Wow. We’re both idiots.”
I squeezed her hand and she smiled. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“And, so am I. I was trying to not fuck it up, and I really fucked it up even worse than I feared I would. It’s just all so fragile. I wanted to protect it, but instead I smashed it to pieces.”
“With some help.”
“No, honey, this was my fault. You were just reacting to me, protecting your heart.”
“But I hurt you. I’m so sorry.”
“We hurt each other, and for nothing. Stupid misunderstandings. I promise I’ll be better. I’ll tell you what I’m thinking. But promise me you’ll talk to me and let me know what you’re feeling too, okay?”
“So, let’s practice. What are you feeling?”