Hair and Makeup: Chapter 23
I slept all day Sunday and may have had a fever. I considered taking my temperature, but decided that it really didn’t matter. I took the flu medication every four hours and drank as much juice and water as I could.
Monday morning, I checked in to the sound stage at Sony. I’d never worked with this crew and hoped that they all just thought I always sounded like that. I shared the trailer with the other hair and makeup people and knew no one, but they were friendly enough. Quinn always preferred to shave his own head and face, so I only had to do his makeup, and for this film, it was very basic. I tried to talk as little as possible, discreetly take my medication every four hours, and suck on a lozenge at all times for my throat.
On the second morning, I had to wait a minute while Quinn signed some headshots for the other hair and makeup people in the trailer. I wasn’t sure that they had all asked for one, but figured it was none of my business. As he was packing his leftover photos away into his bag, he gestured for me to lean in. He lowered his voice and suggested that he sign a bunch of photos and then I could sell them on ebay and we’d split the money.
“Oh, um…I really don’t have the time. Sorry.”
I pictured myself a lonely old woman in a dumpy apartment over-run with cats, a cigarette dangling from my mouth, selling Quinn’s headshots and Eric’s snotty q-tips on ebay.
It was a tough week. I definitely had Eric’s flu, and of course, cramps on top of that. Unlike for Eric, no one brought me tea or tried to rearrange the shooting schedule to accommodate me. I tried my best to hide my illness, knowing that people would be mad for exposing them, even though we all knew they’d do the same. Yes, I felt miserable and yes, I was feeling sorry for myself, but by Friday, I was feeling a little better. Quinn only worked a few hours on Friday, so I was home in bed by late afternoon. By Saturday morning, I was starting to feel (and sound) like a normal person again.
Saturday night was the wrap party for Eric’s movie. I had changed my mind about a hundred times all week about going. A part of me just wanted to hide in my apartment all weekend and sleep, but another part missed Eric terribly and didn’t want to miss a last chance of seeing him, even though I knew it would be painful. At the last minute, I decided to go. I wore the little black dress that I’d worn the night he found me at Chaya, but added a strand of pearls. I had removed my opal necklace the day we broke up and it was safely tucked into a drawer with my engagement ring.
The party was at the Gene Autry Museum in Griffith Park. It was kind of an odd venue for a wrap party, but it was interesting. We could meander a bit and study the exhibits of Western heritage as well as dance the night away on a temporary dance floor. I scanned the crowd immediately, but didn’t see Eric. Sam asked me to dance and to my surprise, so did Andre. I was nervous, waiting and wondering how I’d feel when I saw Eric.
I was standing by the refreshment table when Sophie-Anne came up to say hello. She looked really pretty all made-up and in a dress. We exchanged pleasantries at first and then she got more inquisitive.
“How’s the new film?” I looked at her blankly. I didn’t remember telling her I was on another film. “Eric told me. We did a little detoxing together at Two Bunch Palms. This one pretty much kicked both our asses, but we’ve recovered somewhat thanks to a little well-placed R & R. You’re a lucky girl, but I don’t have to tell you that.”
“Well, yeah. The man is hung. Oh, stop looking at me like that. We’re all adults here. You don’t own him, after all.”
She waved good-bye as she sashayed out to the dance floor to dance with whomever was already there. My heart was beating in my ears. Eric had taken Sophie-Anne to Two Bunch Palms? I never imagined them together, but clearly she had intimate knowledge of his parts and her description was certainly accurate. I watched her wiggling her flat little butt and pictured Eric’s hands on it. I felt like I might vomit, but kept a smile on my face.
I shot a commercial once at Two Bunch Palms, but had never been as a guest. It cost a small fortune for just a weekend. I knew a lot of crew members who went after a shoot, but I never felt I could justify the expense for such a luxury. Of course someone of Eric’s status would go. He probably went after every film. And probably took a different woman every time.
I was feeling extremely uncomfortable with this new news about Eric and Sophie-Anne, but was determined to stick it out and try to see him. No matter how much I knew it would hurt, I wanted just one more look at him. I watched the door until midnight before finally giving up and going home.
I was cleaning my apartment on Sunday when I picked up the trash can by the door to empty it. As soon as I felt the clunk of something rolling around, I remembered that Eric had thrown something in it on his way out of my life. I reached in and found a small cardboard box, taped shut. I sliced the tape with a fingernail and opened it to find the little opal ring and matching earrings and felt the sting of fresh tears. Apparently, Eric hadn’t come by to break up with me at all. Why would he give me these and then dump me? I had it wrong and had clearly jumped the gun. I imagined him bringing this little box to me to surprise me and then leaving without it and thought—oh god, I hurt him. I had been bracing myself for the end, but it never occurred to me that I may have hurt his feelings and I felt even worse even though I didn’t think it was possible to feel worse than I already did. I picked up my phone and stared at it for about ten minutes, trying to control the crying. I was at a complete loss as to what I wanted to say and knew I’d probably sound like a lunatic. I’m sorry, I jumped the gun? Apparently, you wanted a final weekend and I miscalculated when you’d dump me? I fished your present out of the trash—thanks so much? I miss you more than I can bear?
I put my necklace into the box with the other pieces and left them in the drawer with my diamond ring. I took care of my weekly chores and was in bed early, trying to get to sleep, when I suddenly had an idea that wouldn’t stop nagging me. I got out of bed and retrieved the little box, removing the opal ring. Then I went to my jewelry box and found a little leather string that had a charm on it. I untied the string, removed the charm and slid the ring onto the string. It fell discreetly between my breasts and I felt confident that no one would ever know what it was. Somehow, it made me feel better knowing that it was close to my heart. Silly, I know, but I figured if it could help me get through the day or the week or the month without him, then it was worth something. And no one would have to know about it except for me.